DESOLATED

Jul 11

A new thing about the past.

July 5, 2010

“Happy Birthday Bro.” - the only thing that I know during this date.

(Birthday of my younger brother that I always mess with)

it was the day that I used to enjoy every single millisecond in my life.

studying about different aspect of how can I enhance my logic and knowledge at the specific field that i choose.

it was cool… but, the moment itself ruins the day that I raised my glass. I’m fragile. so I was easily blown by my own fears. shattered as I try to keep moving. a wounded dreams failed. I have no idea of what might just happen. I’m living in a world of misery wherein I know she supposed to be the only person to understand everything, most especially “me”.

I was wrong…

so I made up my mind, to forget every single detail of my dreams.

The plans and images that we built.

“decision has been done. Judgement was there.”

I aim for less..

work less harder, less desire, less focus and attention.

keep going…

‘till It reached the end. it all ends here, I made a silent farewell ‘till we both said “goodbye”.

On the other side of the unknown rift.

There were two person who seems to be happy.

one who lives as her super hero, the other one with a unknown.

it was the very same struggle that I’ve been in.

ending up everything with a farewell “goodnight, goodbye”.

I’m on the other side of this rift, where I only look after the thoughts

“I need to live, going through or by a great escape”

I don’t care about other people, but myself.

“who cares about her hero? and what the hell am I going to do with his heroin,

with their broken fairy-tale, promises and forever?”

- it was a unconscious thought.

after 1 year. I realized, somehow it make sense. there are people in this world who seems to mean nothing to us, until we choose to paint a meaning to their lives throughout their heart.

A memory last..

I discovered this new thing about her past. July 12 2011.

I saw a memory of this broken fairy-tale. a scar image of her past.

a “Taken for granted” moment. It was a blog and image of her “used to be” family, with their hands together.

It was a farewell and remains of her man that used to be her hero.

it was posted on July 5, 2010

9 Days after I made her smile, as a stranger.

July 14, 2010

I didn’t imagine such things will happen. But even without plans and images. I can see myself next to her. That’s how our magic works. it was quite fast, but no matter what. It will always remain true to life moment. not a Once-upon-a-time fairy-tale.

July 14, 2010

“It is a great day to relax and enjoy watching UAAP this season”

a gift for myself to temporarily end this nothingness, the misery that i feel.

a mysterious girl that seems to be so tough appeared. with a fierce look and her silence… it was to shallow for me to figure out what she was in..

momentarily as she speaks, I can sense her humor. her desire to laugh out loud and be happy for herself.

I imagined a figure of a kid television cartoon and it seems to fit the image of what my eyes can see.

“Dora!” I said.

she turned back with smile on her face. It was something different because I caught the attention of a stranger with a smile.

then magic starts..

still it was us..

and still continues..